The Moment She Became Our Daughter

I did not expect the referral process to be quite so tortuous, but it was. Sunshine, rainbows, and a heavenly chorus singing, "Ah-ha" were the ideas I had in my head before the reality came. One minute it was "she could be the one", the next minute, "she just isn't the one". I had gone to bed the night before with a simple prayer of if she was the one, then please let there be an update in the morning. Most mornings I wake up at 6:30 just to make sure that Chase is actually up. My alarm went off, and the first thing I did was check my emails. Sure enough, there were emails from our agency. They had sent us videos. Together, Mark and I watched them. God had answered my prayer, but I still wasn't sure. She wasn't talking and didn't seem very happy. I was fearful. The back and forth torture was not over for me. God had answered many of my prayers, but i was still consumed with fear and doubt. I felt the weight of this big decision, and what if I made the wrong one? God kept giving me signs, but I kept asking for more. Mark may have called me Gideon :-). When Mark left for work, we left it at we would both be praying. If I had been forced to make a decision at that moment, it would have probably been "no". Later in the day, the agency checked in with me to see if we had gotten the videos. I shared with her my concerns, and she was able to let me know that the video was very rushed and the little girl was confused about what was going on. She also told us that one of the caregivers was telling the girl not to cry. Mark and I talked on the phone a few minutes later, and he told me that he had been watching the videos and that he was falling in love with this little girl. That was the very moment she became our daughter. All my fears and doubts disappeared, and we have not looked back since. We both feel that she is 100% our daughter and would not change our minds even if we discovered there were other major medical issues. We both already love her so much and cannot wait to bring her home. It is going to feel like forever.

We officially accepted the referral and submitted what is known as our Letter of Intent (LOI). This letter tells China that we desire to adopt that specific child. Because of the time difference, our official LOI date is January 19th. We then had to wait for Pre-Approval (PA) from China. This is China saying that so far everything looks good with our application, and they will be processing our application. The next step is Out Of Translation (OOT). This happens quickly for some and takes forever for others. Average time for this is about a month. Please pray that the process continues to go smoothly and quickly. We really want to be able to travel in June to bring her home. I know I will survive if we have to wait until July, but I want her home as quickly as possible. Here are some pictures that I took from the videos. I am afraid to post the videos, because I don't know if I am allowed to do so. If you run into me, then I will be very happy to show them to you again and again and again :-). More info about our sweet Emma Grace soon.










- Jenna

Referral - Day 2

We woke up the next morning with the plan of contacting doctors who specialize in international adoption and having them look at the limited information we had. There was one doctor that I really wanted to use for this, so he was my first call. They gave me a website to go to that would give me the instructions to upload the file. The website was down. I called back, and they let me know that the doctor would be out of the office until the next day. I left a message. I checked the website many, many times that day, and it was down every time. I called 3 other places. A well-respected one called back, but their fees were painful. I finally called my regular pediatrician, and he agreed to look it over. I was not feeling any peace at all and was praying for a sign. I went on Facebook (shocking, I know), and there were 2 posts in a row that were significant to me (and too silly for me to publicly admit). I also put a post up on a China adoption Facebook group asking how many of them "knew" that was their child the minute they saw the picture. A mom reached out to me, and we ended up talking on the phone. This was so very helpful to me. One thing she said that helped both Mark and me was that God would bless whatever decision we make if we are making it in faith. We went to bed that night without ever talking to a doctor. We both felt that we would have a hard time moving forward without a more recent update. My prayer that night was that if this was our child, then please let us have an update in the morning.





Someone in my Facebook group had posted this fabric. My fantastic sister-in-law helped me find it. She then picked it up for me on Wednesday and made it into a blanket for me. I know Emma will love it.

- Jenna

The Referral

So, I emailed our agency on Tuesday the 15th to find out if we had our Log In Date (LID) yet. We had to have this date in order to be eligible for a match from the list that was being released on Monday the 21st. We were really not expecting a referral in January but were hoping that we would be eligible so that we would move up the list and have a greater chance of being matched in February. On Wednesday, we had come home from church. Mark was actually gone to Walmart. My phone rang, and I knew it was the agency because I recognized the number. I thought that the director was calling to let me know our LID date. It was not an unusual thing for her to call late because she often works on China time. I answered, and she let me know that our LID was January 10th and that she had LOCKED A FILE FOR US! WHAT?!?! The way this kind of referral works is that the agency locks a file for a family. The family then has 72 hours to accept or decline the file. She told me that this little girl has cleft palate and that she was very surprised to find this file on the list. I immediately called Mark. I was in shock that we had gotten a referral so quickly. Did I wait to look at the file until Mark was home? No way!

I need to explain a couple of things at this point. First, I had been praying very hard that we would receive a referral in January in order to give us the best chance to travel in June so that the boys could go with us. Second, I have worked in this field for a very long time and have heard many stories about how the family saw the picture and experienced the magical "aha" moment and knew immediately that they had found their child. I completely expected this to happen. So, I opened the file and did what you are not supposed to do, I looked at the picture first. Here is the first picture I saw.





She's cute and sweet, but I did not feel the magical "aha" moment. I didn't absorb very much of the information that was in her file because I was still in shock. Chase and Dylan were still up, so I let them see. They wanted to know if that was their sister, and I told them that maybe it was. I emailed the director back and let her know that we were interested and that we would be getting back to her after we talked to a doctor. Mark finally got home, and we were able to sit down and look over everything. The file we were given contained information from November 2011, so it was very updated. The file mentioned muscular tension weakness. Without more information, we were a little nervous about moving forward. I did email our agency about possibly getting an update. The director said that she would try. She is amazing (truly), so I knew that if it was possible, then she would get one. Here are the other pictures that were included in her file. These were all taken on the same day.








This one is my favorite.

Now another thing to note. Here is the very first thing that I bought for our daughter.




The file mentioned that this little girl likes cats :-)

We went to bed with a lot of uncertainty, especially me. The fact that I did not immediately "know" really confused me. Next, I will blog about the second day. You all know how it ends, but I want to document all of this to share with Emma some day.

- Jenna

Official Dossier

This is the official stack of papers that will lead us to our daughter.


All stuffed in an envelope and off to our agency on January 2, 2013

- Jenna

The Crazy Paperchase

The crazy paperchase was on!  I checked online and found out that the Secretary of State office was closed on the 26th :-(. That delayed my plans a day, but I was still hopeful that I could get everything to our agency in order to be Dossier to China (DTC) by January 4th. I ended up spending the night at a friend's house in Austin on the 26th. I was at the Secretary of State's office at 7:55 a.m. All the documents were certified successfully. I then stopped at a Fed Ex/Kinko's and made copies. Next. I drove to Houston to the Chinese Consulate. I got there during their lunch closure, so I had to wait a bit. I found this fantastic Mexican food restaurant around the corner. This was right next to a copy place. I was really glad to find the copy place because I would be needing it to copy documents after the consulate was done with them. I went back to the consulate to turn in my documents for authentication. This was super stressful. I had heard how picky they can be about the documents. The woman at the counter carefully scrutinized my stack 3 times!!!  I thought I was going to pass out. She accepted them all and told me to come back for pickup on January 2nd. I made it back home by 7. The boys hopped in the car and we headed to Amarillo to spend a few days with my family. Luckily, Chase was able to do some of that driving. I was exhausted.

On the 2nd, I got up and headed back to Houston. All documents were picked up successfully. I made the copies and put together the complete dossier packet.  Then sent it by Fed Ex for arrival to the agency on the 3rd, praying that I made no mistakes. The agency emailed me the next day to let me know that everything looked good and we would be DTC on January 4th. Success!!!!

Next is the wait for our Log In Date (LID). After we have this date, then we will be eligible to be matched. The new list is set to come out on Monday the 21st. Most families who are open to the same type of needs that we are open to do not get a referral their first month.  I emailed our agency on Tuesday, January 15th to see if we had our LID yet. The agency called me on Wednesday night and let me know that our LID is January 10th. There is more to this story, but it is not a good idea to talk about it online yet (not even in the comments on Facebook). If you see me in real life, then I will be happy to fill you in. I will be posting more as soon as I can:-). So far, I am really liking 2013.

Mumble Jumble

This post is going to be a jumbled mess and hard to follow but that is okay because it is a true reflection of my thoughts right now.  I had really hoped that all of our documents could be sent to China this year.  This step is called DTC - Dossier to China (your dossier consists of documents that the Chinese government wants).  We are not going to make that deadline :-(  We had our fingerprint appointment on the 17th.  This is a part of the USCIS  (Citizenship and Immigration Services) approval process.  Two of my fingerprints could not be read.  The nice woman taking them assured me that it would be okay because the rolled prints matched the non-roll ones.  Although I was sure that she knew what she was talking about, I still worried about it.  She was right, and our application to adopt was approved by the US government. We received our approval letter in the mail on Saturday the 22nd!  Best Christmas present ever!!  Now we have all the documents we need for our dossier.  Next step is to have everything certified at the Secretary of State office in Austin and then authenticated at the Chinese Consulate office in Houston.  Here is where it gets tricky.  Our agency only sends out dossiers on Fridays, so they must have our dossier by January 3rd in order for us to be DTC on January 4th.  Otherwise, it will be the 11th.  You may wonder what the big deal is about a week, but because of the timing it could mean a month delay in the matching process.  After DTC we will get a LID (Log In Date).  This is the date that confirms that China has our documents.  LID will normally come around a week after DTC, but you may not know your LID until a week or so later.  The list that referrals come from is normally released towards the end of each month.  We need to have our LID in order to be eligible to be matched.  If we are DTC on the 4th, then we will have a good chance of being eligible for the January list.  We probably won't get a referral in January, but it helps move us up the list so our chances will be higher the next month.  We really want the boys to come with us to China but that will only be possible if we are able to travel in June or July.  Every month counts in order for this to happen.  So in order to make the DTC date of the 4th, I am going to drive to Austin on the 26th to have our documents certified.  I will then drive to Houston to have them authenticated.  I have been told that the consulate now takes 4 days to complete the paperwork.  So I will then fly to Houston on the 31st to pick up our precious papers and will then send them on their way to our agency.  This is a lot of traveling.  I talked it over with Mark, and he immediately said that I should do it.  So it may be crazy, but I feel that it is right.  Please pray that all of the documents are correct and that none of them are rejected.  I might be stressing about all of this just a LITTLE.  

Some Answers

Why China? I really don't have a good answer for that. It is just what I have always envisioned. I have tried to think of other options, but my thoughts always return to China. It is where we are supposed to go.

When will this all happen? I thought it took years to adopt from China?
There are 2 different routes in China adoptions, the SN (Special Needs) and the NSN (Non-Special Needs). The NSN route takes around 7 years. We are not going that route. The SN route normally takes AROUND a year. This is the route that we are going. We are open to needs such as minor to moderate heart conditions, cleft lip/palate, or club feet. We would consider other things depending upon the situation.

Do you know who she is? What age is she?
You can find your own referral when doing a SN adoption from China, but since we are open to only minor needs, then we most likely will need to wait for a referral to be given to us through our agency. We hope to have a referral in the spring sometime. We are able to review the referral and then decide whether or not to accept the referral. We are approved to adopt a child between the ages of 1 - 3.

Where are you in the process? What is the process?
The world of adoption from China involves many initials. HS, I800-A, USCIS, DTC, LID, OOT, LOA, I800, TA - just to name a few. If you really want to know about this, let me know. Basically, the steps are as follows: 1) get an approved home study (check), 2) get approval from the US side to adopt (step we are at) 3) send documents to China, 4) be accepted by China, 5) wait for referral, 6) accept referral, 7) receive permission from China to adopt a specific child, 8) receive permission from the US to adopt a specific child, 9) receive permission from China to travel, 10) travel to China to complete adoption.

Will the boys go with you to China? I am praying that they can. We will need to be in China for around 2 weeks. Two things will need to happen for them to get to go. First, the adoption MUST happen in June or July - high school kids can't miss school, and the band kid can't miss August band practice. Second, we have to raise enough money for them to go. We aren't believers in carrying a lot of debt, so if the money isn't there, then they can't go. Please feel free to pray that this can happen for them. I really want them to experience her native country.

Isn't adoption expensive? Yes, it is. It is about the same cost as buying a new car. The amazing thing is that once we made this decision, extra money for this just started to appear. I got a side job that pays well and requires minimal work. Other things just started popping up. I believe that God is clearly blessing this adoption.

One last thing, I am so excited I can hardly stand it. The wait just might kill me. I am ready for her to be home now. I worry about whether or not she is being taken care of and loved. I can't wait to see her face.

Let me know if you have any other questions.

- Jenna