Wednesday, June 19, 2013


Emma hasn't really grieved very much. She had the brief time at the adoption center but hasn't seemed to look back since. Her attachment to me right now is fierce. She will tolerate Chase or Mark holding her for a brief amount of time, but it is me she wants all of the time. We walked a lot today, and I am exhausted from carrying her so much. Exhausted, but incredibly happy and grateful. This is truly worth every sore muscle. It may sound strange, but I am sad that she isn't grieving. If she had been loved deeply, then she would be grieving. I cannot understand how anyone can not fiercely love this girl. She is so wonderful. Tonight Mark gave Emma her shower. She was not happy about that. Then, Chase and I ran out to grab some dinner. Emma did not do well with me being gone. Once she realized that I was gone, then she started crying.....a lot. This room has the kind of key that you put in a slot in order to turn the electricity on. Emma had Mark lift her up to that spot. She then grabbed the key out and took it to the door to try and get out so that she could find me. (See how smart she is). When that didn't work, she lay down in front of the door and cried. She finally went to sleep. She woke up a few minutes after I returned and begin crying and crying. I was able to calm her down and she went back to sleep. Repeat this times three. I would have to look in her eyes and talk softly to her to get her to calm down. I would also hold her hand (she loves this). At one point she situated the covers over her and reached out to find my hand again. She has been with us for only four days and got that upset about me being gone around 30 minutes, but did not get anywhere near that upset when the family she had been with for two years left. I feel heartbroken over the fact that she has not received the love she deserves. We will be working hard to make up for that, and I won't be leaving her side anytime soon.

- Jenna

1 comment:

  1. I can't imagine how anyone would not want to hold and love any infant/toddler or child. I was so lucky to have had such a wonderful loving foster family for my daughter.